


Twist So Good

by thefirstdisorder



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Feels, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Oh My God, Post-Winter Soldier, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7455703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefirstdisorder/pseuds/thefirstdisorder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Author's Note: {I had the plot for this all figured out pre-Release of Civil War, so the details will be a little bit inaccurate. I'm super sorry about that.}</p><p>Takes place after CA:TWS and before CA:CW </p><p>||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||</p><p>Bucky ran. Steve followed. It was as simple as that, and it had been going on for months. </p><p>Until one night, when Steve finds Bucky in an abandoned bar in Khabarovsk, Russia, he somehow coaxes bin to come back with him to his home. Under Steve's care, protection and encouragement, Bucky tries to piece together the boys of his life before he became the Winter Soldier. He had memories jogged by the things Steve said and did, from what he heard from others, and from his dreams and his nightmares. Then, as he collects his memories, Bucky starts to realise that Steve is way more than his protector.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Well he knew one thing for sure. Captain America and the Falcon were following him. He saw them while he was in Wales for a while. He'd seen them when he went to Hong Kong. And the thing he'd admit was that yes, he was running from them. 

The Soldier had been running from them for a while now, and he couldn't remember how long. He didn't want to be found. He knew what they'd do with him if he was found. 

'Bucky', he'd said. Captain America had called him Bucky, convinced that the Soldier was him. But how? And why? The Soldier didn't want to know. So he ran. But somehow, Captain America, he had always followed.   
*******  
The Soldier was in Russia. A city called Khabarovsk, in fact. He didn't know how long he'd stay. He'd stay there for a while, until the next time he saw Captain or heard news of him nearby. By the time he'd gotten into Khabarovsk, it was around 8:00 in the night. The Soldier decided he'd get a job and a place to stay later, he wanted a drink and something to eat first. To clear his mind. He'd been to Russia before anyway, and their restaurants were always great. 

He found this cheap-looking place next to a hotel, read their menu and decided he'd stop in there. He walked in, to see it was nearly empty and smelled like burnt beef. He found a table for two in the corner of the restaurant and sat down, watching a waiter as he walked toward him. The waiter greeted him and asked him what he'd like to drink and eat in Russian. The Soldier decided on a bottle of vodka and a bratwurst sandwich and the waiter said he'd be right back. 

The Soldier thought for a bit. Why did Captain and the Falcon want him anyway? Perhaps they wanted him for his weapons. Or, weapon, singular, being mainly the metal arm that had replaced his flesh and bone left arm. He knew he'd been born with a real left arm but all he could remember is having this one, and sometimes the Soldier thought of how the hell he could not remember a single thing. Especially with what was happening with him and Captain, who was bent on his belief that he was this Bucky person he once knew. The Soldier didn't know if he was that man or not, and he couldn't imagine having a life that wasn't this one. 

"Here's your food, sir," The waiter came back and set the brat and the beer on the table. He thanked him in Russian and he left. The Soldier started eating, looking down at his shoes. The sandwich was okay. He'd had better in Russia... it was probably just the restaurant. He looked up from his shoes and picked up his beer glass. 

The Soldier nearly choked when he looked up. Sitting right in front of him was Captain America himself, Steve Rogers. Just sitting right in front of him. The Soldier wondered how he could've possibly even found him so quickly, he hadn't even been in Russia for an hour. More importantly, he wondered how he didn't notice Steve slide into he seat right in front of him. 

Steve gave the Soldier a pensive look as the Soldier regained himself. "Why have you been following me?" asked the Soldier, frowning. "And how the hell did you even find me here, Rogers?" 

Steve sighed through his nose. He flicked his eyes toward the Soldier's half-eaten bratwurst sandwich. "We used to eat hot dogs a lot, you know." He said simply, not answering the Soldier's question. "They cost, like, 50 cents back then, Bucky."

The Soldier heaved his chest. "I told you, that's not my name." He said firmly. 

Steve stayed calm, leaning forward, avoiding the Soldier's eyes. "What is your name then?"

"I don't know. The Winter Soldier. That's the one they gave me. It's the only one I've known."

"Trust me, it isn't."

The Soldier restated his question. "Why are you following me and how did you know I was here?"

"Well, I didn't know that you'd be in this run-of-the-mill place specifically. I just knew you were in Khabarovsk. And Bucky, the reason I've been following you is because we're friends. And if you keep running from me, I'll always follow, I could do it for the rest of my life, Buck. You're my friend."

The Soldier looked into Steve's blue eyes. The look inside them was disappointment and heartache, but the Soldier couldn't tell because he didn't know what that felt like. "I don't remember." He stated, simply, truthfully and emotionless. 

Steve blinked and looked away, sighing again. "It's okay." He said. "I need you to come home with me."

The Soldier blinked, confused. "Why the hell would you want me to come home with you?"

"I said it before, you're my friend. Besides, it's not like you can take care of yourself for much longer. I don't even know how you've lasted this long without anyone helping you, and you being on your own this whole time. I don't want to watch you do that anymore. Please come with me."

He had a point, the Soldier thought. He was on a very tight budget and used the little money he had from his temporary jobs to support his health, which had dropped in the past week or so. He had headaches and stomachaches from all the cheap food and he lost a lot of sleep. It would be good to have someone take care of him. 

"You're a hero," the Soldier said. "I'm not a hero. Whoever you live with, they won't want me. I don't deserve to live like a hero."

Steve looked into the Soldier's eyes. "Yes, yes you do. Now come with me, please. You can't live like this anymore."

The Soldier nodded, his frown softening. "Okay," he agreed. "I'll come with you." 

Steve grinned widely, the corners of his eyes crinkling. The Soldier felt like he'd seen that smile before. "Thank you, Buck." Steve said.   
*******  
"Oh Bozhe!! Pozhaluysta!" The Soldier shook himself awake and quickly turned his head only to meet his eyes with Steve's. The Soldier gasped, looking down at his metal arm to see Steve had a firm grasp on it. The Soldier was covered in sweat, and he felt jumpy and panicked. He looked back up at Steve's eyes. 

"It's alright, buddy, it was just a nightmare. Relax... relax..." Steve said. He let go of the Soldier's metal arm. The Soldier calmed down, little by little. Maybe it was Steve's eyes. Or the calm, comforting time of his voice. The Soldier didn't know. 

He was having a dream about a well-dressed man staring menacingly into his eyes as he was strapped down. He wasn't sure where he was or what was happening. "Oh god!! Please!" He'd shouted in Russian. And that's when Steve woke him up from his misery. 

The Soldier looked down at himself. He was in a pair of baggy sweats and a blue v-neck long-sleeve shirt. He looked back at Steve. "Whose clothes are these?" He asked, still slightly panicked. "I don't remember putting them on."

Steve nodded. "They're mine. I changed you into them when we or here and you fell asleep."

The Soldier looked around. Steve noticed and said, "It's a guest room. Well, it's yours now, I guess."

"I didn't say I would live here."

"I know. I'm just... thinking about my hope for the near future."

"Why would you want me to live here with you?" The Soldier was genuinely puzzled. "I was sent to kill you, Steve, you were my mission. Why in hell would you ever want to even be in the same room as me?"

"Because it's not your mission anymore. And I know you're safe. I asks know that I'm safe being with you and that you won't look to hurt me when I'm near you. And also, Bucky I need to take care of you and make sure that you recuperate."

The Soldier didn't know how to respond. As far as he was concerned, no one had ever shown him this level of compassion before. He was used to the way he lived and he didn't expect to receive any compassion, especially not from Steve Rogers, the man he used to consider an enemy.   
"Why?" The Soldier asked. "Why would you take it upon yourself to do that? Who am I to you, Rogers?"

"I told you, Buck. You're my friend." There was a moment of silence. Then, Steve said, "There's food downstairs, if you'd like. It's six in the morning. Do you think you could go back to sleep... or...?"

The Soldier was hungry. "No, I'll go eat." He followed Steve downstairs and into the kitchen, where he saw a bowl of steaming oatmeal resting on the island table. He sat in the chair, asking, "Is this for me?"

Steve nodded, scooping oatmeal from a pot into another bowl. "Careful, it's hot." The Soldier scooped up a spoonful and put it in his mouth, hissing after it went down his throat. "See?" Steve said. The Soldier shook his head, and waved above the oatmeal with his hand to cool it down. Steve continued to speak. "I don't know if you remember but after we came from Russia, you curled up in the guest and slept for nearly a day." Steve laughed a bit. "You must not be tired at all right now."

"Where am I?" The Soldier finally asked.

"You're in a place where you're safe. Don't worry about it."

The Soldier raised his voice. "Am I in rehab? A mental institute of some sort?"

Steve looked surprised at the Soldier's tone and answered quickly and calmly, "No, no, Buck, you're in neither of those. You're here with me and the rest of the Avengers. They're all still alseep but-"

"Rogers, I told you, I do NOT want to live like a hero..."

"Stay calm, Buck. You don't have to interact with any of them, it's just you and me. I'm going to make sure to alert the rest of them that you're here."

"Fine, okay." The Soldier went back to eating his oatmeal.

"Hey, have you started remembering anything? Like about me... and you, specifically?"

"No. Why?"

The Soldier couldn't help but notice the disappointed look on Steve's face. "No reason."

The Soldier and Steve finished their oatmeal and Steve went back upstairs and the Soldier went to sit on the couch. He watched a weird show about a hospital that was on and he didn't know when he fell back to sleep. 

*******

"Yeah, Natasha. We have him. He's in okay shape, considering the circumstances." The Soldier woke up to hear Steve's voice. There was a long pause, and then Steve said, "Yeah, that'll help, I was planning to do that. I'll see you later, bye." The Soldier could tell he was just on a call. 

The Soldier rose up and looked over at Steve. He was out of his nightclothes and in a light blue shirt and jeans, and was shoving his phone into his pocket. Sam Wilson (or the Falcon, as the Soldier recognised him as), who was sitting right next to him, was the first to look over at the Soldier. He lightly smiled and said, "Hey, how you doing?"

The Soldier nodded. "I'm good, how are you?" He mumbled. He looked over at Steve. "Rogers, did you go anywhere while I was asleep?"

Steve perked up a bit. "No, why? Do you want some coffee, Buck?"

The Soldier noticed the two mugs of steaming coffee resting next to Steve and Sam. "Uh, no thanks." The Soldier said. "Hey, Rogers, what am I going to do? What's going to happen to me?"

Steve didn't take his eyes off the Soldier. "Nothing, you're under my care. We're going somewhere today, you'll see where."

"I don't like surprises."

Steve laughed a bit into his mug. "Yeah, you never did. Here, I'll tell you, it's a place that should help you jog your memory."

Sam cleared his throat. "Hey, can you try these on?" The Soldier walked up to him, and Sam reached behind him and handed the Soldier a plastic bag. He looked inside to see some folded up shirts and pants and boxers. 

The Soldier tried the clothes on in the bathroom. They all seemed to fit well, the shirts varied in colour and sleeve length but they all seemed to be a solid colour. The jeans and underwear varied in colour as well. The Soldier couldn't help but feel a little awkward about the fact that two men he hardly knew just went clothes shopping for him, especially about the underwear part. 

The Soldier felt sort of grimy so he put back on his regular clothes and asked if he could use the shower. Steve said to go under the sink and get a clean towel and that he can use their soap. 

After the Soldier had taken his shower he put together a shirt and some pants that matched and put on his clothes. His long, shoulder-length hair was limp and tangled, so he carefully ran a comb through it before he left the bathroom to see that Sam was gone and Steve was putting on a cap by the door. He noticed the Soldier and smiled, saying, "Ready to go?" 

*******

Then they started to drive. The Soldier restated the question, "Rogers, will you tell me where we're going?" 

"I told you. Just a place that'll help you know, refresh your memory. Remind you of... me." Steve took a sharp left turn. "Sorry," he said. "Some woman and her kid were on the corner."

"It's fine," The Soldier shook his head. "But Rogers, I'm not who you think I am. You know I'm not that Bucky person you keep calling me, right?"

Steve said nothing, just sighed and stared straight ahead. 

They pulled up to the place Steve was talking about. A huge, polished, official looking building. The Smithsonian museum, and the Soldier knew that he'd be taken to the Captain America section. The Soldier looked outside the window and blinked twice. He turned back to Steve, saying, "I've been here before."

Steve turned to look at him, then turned back to the road. "Really? When?"

"I don't remember. It was when I was here... last year I think. Something here was shocking to me I think. I can't remember."

The Soldier turned to look at Steve, and the expression of Steve's face was like a 5 year old boy's on Christmas. He hardened his expression a bit and said to the Soldier, "Maybe it was you remembering who you are or something like that. Hopefully. But here, let's go in."

*******

They had been in there an hour, and the Soldier had separated from Steve. He was starting to recognise and remember things from when he'd been to the museum for the first time. He decided he'd go to the main attraction. 

He went upstairs and straight to the back of the room, where the Captain America suit was. He listened to the story of Steve Rogers, how he had grown up a skinny, sickly boy from Brooklyn who had gotten polio and was saved by the serum the Jews had done for him that turned him into Captain America. The recording said his best friend was James Buchanan Barnes, and they were "inseparable on both the schoolyard and the battlefield". 

James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. That was him. The Soldier moved over to the small exhibit about Bucky Barnes. 

It was all a blur of information. The Soldier didn't bother to read or listen. He saw his face right there in the middle of the exhibit. He stared at himself, in the Howling Commandos uniform, younger, his hair shorter, and it hit him. 

The Soldier was not the Soldier. That was not his name. He was James Buchanan Barnes and he was Steve's best friend. And that was the identity that he would learn to adopt as his again.

"Tell me. What do you see?" Bucky jumped, looking over his shoulder to see Steve, looking straight into his eyes. He looked at the picture, then back to Bucky.

Bucky felt a tear start to form in the corner of his eye. "I... I see myself. And I don't know how I can't remember, I literally can't remember anything, Steve, I'm so, so sorry."

Steve gave a light smile. "No need."

Bucky lowered his voice. "I'll adopt my name as Bucky now."

Steve and Bucky left the Captain America museum, and Bucky didn't even notice the rest of the information on him. He didn't want to listen to it or read it. He wanted to start afresh. 

*******

The year was 1924. 

"Bucky, Bucky, ahh!" Steve started to scream as the bigger boy pushed him higher and higher on the swings. 

"Are you ready to jump?" Bucky tried to catch Steve's eye from on the ground, but Steve had both of his eyes shut tight. He vigorously shook his head no. 

Bucky waited for the swing to come back down, and then he grabbed the two sides of it and let Steve swing close to the ground. Steve's bright blue eyes looked into Bucky's slightly less blue ones, smiling uncontrollably.  "Thank you, Buck."

Bucky smiled back, and pulled Steve into a hug. Then he heard, "Are you boys being careful?"

Steve's mother came out of the house and looked over at Bucky and Steve. Her warm blue eyes were soft and welcoming, and she started to smile when she saw Steve and Bucky. 

"Yeah, Mommy, we're fine!" Steve answered cheerfully.

"'I'm making cookies right now for you boys to eat when you get back in. James, I'm glad that your mother and father allowed you to spend the night. It's good to see you boys having fun."

"Thank you, Ms. Rogers." Bucky grinned and Steve started to cheer after hearing about the cookies. Ms. Rogers slipped back into the house. 

Bucky jumped on the swing and Steve started to push him, and then the two blue-eyed boys started to play again just like young boys should. 

*******

The year was 1929. 

Bucky heard someone punch. Panicked, he darted the corner, following the sound. 

Someone said something in a low, bass, but the 12-year-old boy could not hear what it was. But what Bucky did hear was the voice of his best friend saying determinedly, "I could do this all day."

Bucky rushed around another corner to see Steve in battle stance looking up at a huge guy that wasn't that much older than Bucky and Steve. He was staring Steve down. Before Steve could try and throw another punch, Bucky yelled, "What the hell is going on?" 

Both boys whipped their heads in Bucky's direction. He walked closer to them, looking at Steve with confusion. 

"Buck, what are you doing here?" Steve looked slightly annoyed and confused. Bucky could see the blood on his lip. Steve turned back to the boy and said to Bucky, "I can handle my own fights." 

"Who the hell are you?" The bigger boy scrunched his nose at Bucky. Then he smiled maliciously and said, "Okay. I can beat up the both of ya."

"You're not going to be beating up anyone anymore. My father is on patrol right now. If he sees you doing this, oh man. Oh man. You're going to be in a lot of trouble." Bucky lied. 

"Oh yeah? What's your name, punk?"

"That's none of your damn business. Now if you know what's good for you, you'll back out now and my father will not be hearing about this. But if you don't, I'll make sure he finds you by the end of the day. And it won't be pretty." 

The boy glared at Bucky and Steve before lumbering around the corner without another word. 

Steve's big blue eyes gazed up at Bucky. Bucky sighed and reached his hand out to help Steve up. 

"Steve, what was that? You need to quit getting into fights like that, in not always gonna be around to save your ass." Bucky shook his head, watching as Steve shifted his weight to his other foot. 

"Bucky! I wanted to get him, I swear he was mine!" Steve growled, glowering. "I could've had him if you didn't come!!"

"No. No, you wouldn't have. That boy was at least a foot taller than you, and at least 50 pounds heavier." Steve sighed through his nose. Bucky noticed the cut on his lip and said in a softer tone, "Are you okay? Do you need that bandaged?"

Steve reached his hand up to touch his bleeding lip and Bucky said quickly, "Don't touch it! You could get an infection."

"Infection in-schmeck-win. I'm fine, Buck. It'll heal soon. I guess you're right about me handling that guy, I couldn't have stood up to him alone. And yeah, I guess I'm lucky you passed by."

"For the second time this month. And you're welcome. Just please stop getting into fights like that. They don't solve anything." He paused. "Also, your mother's gonna be wondering how you got that bloody lip."

"Oh, oh man!" Steve panicked. "I can't tell my mom I was in a fight? What do I do?"

"Tell her that you fell off your bike."

"Oh, so you want me to lie. Like you did to that kid?"

"Well, tell her that you were outside. So that it wouldn't be lying, but you're not telling her the full truth."

"Well... okay. Thanks, Buck."

"No problem. We're friends, Steve. Now let's go get an ice cream. Weird Alice around the corner just put up an ice cream stand and the cones are 2 cents each."

"Awesome!" Steve grinned, and Bucky slung his arm around him. Steve lifted his arm up to wrap it around Bucky's shoulder, and the two best friends walked toward Weird Alice's ice cream stand, both feeling like they'd be best friends forever.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'll be completely honest with you." Steve bit into his hot dog, swallowing before he spoke again. "You used to love hot dogs, I wouldn't lie to you."

"Really?" Bucky doubted it. It was hard to process so much information at once. 

Steve laughed. "Yeah, you would never get mustard on them."

Bucky laughed a bit, then looked back to his plain hot dog. "Do you eat mustard?"

"Sometimes."

Bucky nodded, taking another bite. 

*******

The year was 2029. 

"You're riding the Cyclone this time." Bucky said. 

"Nooooo," Steve drawled. 

Bucky snorted, shaking his head. "You're tall enough, I don't understand. What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm hungry." Steve said quickly. 

"Right. You're not scared at all, you're just 'hungry'." Bucky slapped Steve in the back and he tripped forward, regaining his balance. 

Steve stopped, looking up at Bucky. "No, I'm actually hungry. Do you have money on you?"

"Uh, yeah? I have $2."

Steve pointed at a hot dog stand. It had a short line. Steve shrugged, looking back at Bucky. "Why don't we just got something from there?"

"Sure. Then, afterward, we ride the Cyclone?" Bucky asked, trying to compromise. 

Steve sighed loudly. "Fiiiine."

They got their hot dogs, each for 50 cents and Bucky got a stick of candy floss for the both of them. They sat down on a bench, chewing their hot dogs and watching people run around. 

"It's really good." Steve piped up. 

"Yeah, I know."

"You should try it with mustard. Mustard is good."

"Steve, you know I hate mustard."

"Try it sometime for me. Like, on my birthday or something."

Bucky laughed. "Well, okay. Have hot dogs on your birthday and I promise that I'll have mustard."

*******

Bucky woke up sweating in his bed. He was sleeping on his right side with his metal arm underneath him, and it was pressing on his ribs. The stinging pain had jolted him awake and he sat upright, twisting to see his right side. His metal arm had made a mark on his right side and the small injury hurt to the touch. 

He had also had the nightmare again. The same one. It wasn't as scary for him anymore though, because he's almost gotten used to it. He just wished that he knew what it was, who that man was and what was happening to him. 

Bucky looked at the small digital clock he had on the nightstand. The time read, 4:19. The pain was too much for him to be able to fall back asleep so he decided he'd get up and go downstairs. Steve had said that he was welcome to any of the things they had in the kitchen unless one one had labelled it as theirs. So he decided he'd get some black coffee. 

He walked down the stairs carefully, hoping he wouldn't wake anyone up. He was able to make some coffee without waking anyone up, or so he thought. 

Bucky sat on the island table again, sipping his coffee, when he heard a gasp from behind. He jumped and spun around, nearly spilling the coffee all over him. He then saw Tony Stark, which he knew as Iron Man, gripping the couch for support. 

Bucky didn't know what was happening to him so he rushed over, asking, "Are you okay?" 

Tony bent his head down, breathing, "No. No. No, don't get near me." He looked back up at Bucky, shaking his head. "Why the hell are you in this place, anyway?"

"What the hell is going on?" Bucky heard a female voice from upstairs. He looked up to see a ginger woman galloping downstairs. Bucky stepped a few steps back so she could reach to Tony. She looked back up at Bucky. 

"Bucky? Or the Winter Soldier, I'd presume?" She asked. Bucky nodded his head, not looking at her, but looking at tony. "I'm Natasha Romanov. I'm sorry we had to... properly meet... under these circumstances."

"Natasha! I... my meds... just let me go upstairs." Tony insisted. 

"Yeah, I'll go with you." Natasha's eyes widened in a spot right next to Bucky. "Oh! I didn't see you."

Bucky jumped. Steve was right there next to him again (how the hell did he keep doing that???), looking at Natasha. He said, "Yeah, take tony back upstairs, Nat. He'll be fine."

"I don't know when you started taking charge of my personal health, Steve." Tony got to his feet and started going back towards the stairs, glowering at Bucky. 

"I didn't."

Tony looked back at Natasha, who was following him. "I'm fine, Natasha. Just... I went to go eat something and then-"

"Why were you eating something at 4:30 in the morning?" Steve interjected. 

"I woke up in the middle of the night! And then..." Tony gestured to Bucky. "He's in the same house as me and..." Tony groaned and went all the way back up the stairs, turning the corner. 

Natasha sighed and looked back at Bucky. "I'm sorry about that. He's got anxiety... and then he's kind of," Natasha lowered her voice. "Intimidated of you. I'm sorry about that, Bucky." Natasha smiled sympathetically before going back up the stairs. Bucky assumed that she was going to go speak to Tony to calm him down or something. 

So it was just Bucky and Steve downstairs. They sat back at the island table, and Bucky drank his cold coffee. Bucky started by saying, "I didn't mean to scare him."

"It's fine." Steve said. "I haven't told everyone here that you're here yet. But it's fine, I'll tell them tomorrow. Tony, he's... not your biggest fan. And to add to what Nat told you-" Steve leaned in closer to Bucky. "He's kind of an old man." He whispered. 

They both laughed lightly. Steve asked calmly, "So why were you downstairs?" 

"Oh." Bucky looked away for a second. "I had a nightmare."

"About what?"

Bucky described it to Steve. Steve leaned in, listening and nodding.

"I don't know what it is, but at the same time I'm not sure if I want to know. It's the same man, same environment, same... smell. I don't know how to process it. And I'll be honest, it's a bit scary for me."

Steve nodded, not looking at Bucky. "I feel like in this case, if it really scares you, not knowing is better than knowing, Buck."

"Yeah. Me too."

It all happened so suddenly. One second, Bucky and Steve were sitting side by side, not touching each other at all. The next second, Steve's hand was wrapped around Bucky's, squeezing it. And Bucky didn't even try to stop him. 

Steve looked into Bucky's eyes. "Do you feel any better about the nightmare, or feel any better in general? Even a little bit?"

*******

The year was 2029. 

It was the night of the day Steve and Bucky had gone to Coney Island. After riding the Cyclone, they'd thrown up their hot dogs and candy floss but they didn't even feel sick about it. After they rode it, they went back to Steve's house. Steve's mother was allowing Bucky to sleep over again.

It was pitch black in Steve's room, except for the full moon that was outside. Bucky was curled up underneath the sheets on the floor and Steve was on top of his bed, lying on his stomach and looking out at the full moon. 

Steve said, "Buck, do you believe in aliens?" but he got no answer. He looked over next to him at the lump on the floor underneath the sheets. He assumed Bucky was sleeping, so he went underneath his sheets to try and sleep too. 

Not even 5 seconds afterward, Steve heard Bucky yell, "OH!" He jumped up to see Bucky breathing hard and sitting up straight on the sheets.

Steve sat up and let his feet dangle off the bed. "What the hell was that, Buck?" 

Bucky glanced at Steve, eyes wide. "Nothing. Go back to bed, Steve."

"I was never asleep." Steve stepped down to the floor and looked at Bucky. "Folks don't start screaming in the middle of the night like that. Tell me what happened."

"Had a nightmare. It's over now."

"Oh, poor you." Steve shifted into more of a comfortable position in the ground. "Can I ask what it was about?" 

"No idea. I can't remember. I forgot the moment I woke up." Bucky was being honest. 

Steve folded his arms. 

"I'm telling the truth, Steve." Bucky said firmly. His voice softened when he said, "But I remember that it was scary. I don't think I can go back to sleep."

Steve took the opportunity to slide his small hand into Bucky's larger one. Bucky looked down asking, "Steve, what are you doing?" 

"My mother does it to me to calm me down when I have nightmares. I haven't had one in years, but it always seemed to work. I'd feel less scared. Is it working on you?"

Bucky closed his eyes. He felt the warmth of Steve's hand travel through his skin. He had calmed down enough to hear his own heart beating. He sighed softly and said, "Yeah. Yeah, I think I feel a bit better."

Steve smiled. 

*******

Bucky didn't know how to really react to having Steve's hand in his. He didn't try to stop him, but he didn't really even want to. The fact was, he actually enjoyed it. He would've never expected to have the man that he had been sent to kill have his hand in his over a single cup of cold black coffee. To Bucky's remembrance, this was the most surprising thing to happen to him since... 2 days ago when Steve took him home from Khabarovsk. 

The thing was that Bucky didn't know whether or not he should admit to Steve that he liked it. There wasn't any point in lying, to Bucky's thoughts. Also, he actually did feel better about his nightmare, as in it wasn't as scary to him anymore. So he just simply said, "Yeah. That feels good." 

Steve smiled.

"Will you do it for a little longer?"

"Of course, Buck." 

*******

Twenty minutes of hand-holding and 2 cups of decaf coffee later, Bucky was back in his bed and Steve in his. But Bucky knew that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. 

Bucky couldn't think of anything else but the warm, familiar feeling of Steve's hand in his. If Bucky had really been Steve's best friend before Bucky became the Soldier like Steve had said, Bucky wondered if there was ever any of that in their friendship. Bucky having a nightmare and Steve holding his hand until he felt better. 

Bucky would be the first to admit that he was kind of shocked at his out-of-character behaviour. He'd let him hold his hand for 20 minutes and walk him up the stairs, all without saying a word to him. He wondered why he'd let him do that. 

He wondered if there was more to their apparent friendship before. 

Bucky didn't even realise when he fell back to sleep. 

*******

Some dreams are memories from your past. 

That night, Bucky had one of those dreams. It was one of those strange third-person dreams, so he could see himself in the dream. He could see that the dream version of him was much younger with much shorter hair. He was dressed in military uniform. He was facing a much shorter kid with blonde hair, and he could tell it was Steve, but skinnier and definitely a lot less buff. 

They were in a park. Bucky could hear the dream version of himself say, "You could always change your mind, you know."

Steve said, "Yeah, I know, but I don't, okay? My mother's dead. I don't know what I'll do. But I don't need help."

"Yes you do. Trust me."

Bucky processed what he'd just seen. Much younger versions of himself and Steve in the park talking about Steve's deceased mother. And Bucky had wanted to help him but he refused. 

The poor boy had just lost his mother and Bucky had offered him help. It still didn't have enough proof for Bucky that they used to be friends. 

"I really, don't okay? I don't wanna go live with you on your apartment because I want to be..." Steve was still talking, but Bucky zoned out of his dream to think again. He understood that he had apparently asked Steve to go live with him in his apartment after he'd lost his mother. Still no proof. 

"That's fine." Dream Bucky say down in the grass and Steve sat next to him. "I'm your friend, Steve." He looked back toward Steve. "Just remember that I'm with you 'till the end of the line, okay?"

*******

Bucky woke up immediately. 

He finally understood what he and Steve used to have. They were best friends and Bucky used to take care of Steve. He could not remember anything else. Just that one dream was the thing that convinced him to turn around and check the clock to see it was 11:30 in the morning, and go downstairs to talk to Steve. 

He saw him down there speaking with a lady with long brown hair. Steve noticed him as he went down the stairs and smiled. "You slept in late."

Bucky smiled. He looked over at the lady who had given him a small smile. 

Steve looked at the two of them and said, "Oh, Bucky, this is Wanda."

Wanda outstretched her hand for Bucky to shake. "It's nice to meet you," she said in a medium-think Russian accent. When Bucky shook her right hand with his right metal one, Wanda gasped and said, "Ohhhhh... you're him. The Soldier. I heard of you before."

There was a moment of silence before Steve said, "He doesn't go by that anymore. It's just Bucky now." The last part he'd said more cheerful.

"Of course. Sorry, Bucky."

Bucky cleared his throat. He hadn't forgotten he had to tell Steve about his dream, obviously. "Hey, Wanda it's nice to meet you too, but can I get a moment with Steve here, please?"

Wanda looked at Steve. "Oh yeah, of course." And she went upstairs. 

Bucky looked at Steve, who was leaning on the island table. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Bucky." Steve smiled. 

"I have to tell you something. It's important actually."

Steve's face drooped. "Like, what do you mean by important?"

Bucky described his dream to Steve using every detail of it. When he was finished, he could see the slight tears in Steve's eyes and he could feel the ones in his. 

"That's... that's great news, Buck. But I have to ask. Do you remember anything else?" Steve asked quietly. 

Bucky sniffed. "I know it's not a lot and I wish I did, but no, I apologise."

"No need for that. This is good enough." 

Without even thinking about what he was doing or the repercussions of it, Bucky pulled Steve into a hug. It lasted a while until he pulled away and Steve asked, "Why'd you do that, Buck?" 

"I've just found out we used to be friends, and that our friendship was real. Don't you think I would want to make things like that again?"

*******

The year was 2031. 

The two boys were both back at Coney Island, eating hot dogs and watching people go on rides. Steve decided that once they finished eating they'd go try the carnival games. They'd gone to Coney Island at least once every six months for as long as either of them could remember so they'd already done all the rides. 

While Bucky was looking around in boredom his eyes lay upon a group of three girls huddling by the ice cream shack, just laughing and talking with each other. The one closest to Bucky had medium length blonde hair in curls and wore a blue and white striped top with a short white skirt that went just below her knees. Bucky stopped paying attention to the other girls and kept it fully on her. Then she turned around and she and Bucky met eyes, so he tore his eyes off her and looked back to Steve. 

"Steve, look." He tapped on Steve who looked up from his hot dog in the direction that Bucky had pointed his chin in. Bucky looked back at the girl, who had her back turned and was getting two ice cream cones from the vendor. "Isn't she something else?"

Steve flicked his eyes back to Bucky. "Do you want to go ask her out or something? I would come with you for moral support."

"Actually, yeah Steve, that's exactly what I'm planning on doing. Now that I've got the blonde one... look at those two." Bucky gestured to the other two girls, who were now sitting on a bench next to the shack eating ice cream on either side of the blonde. "Which one is more attractive to you?" 

"I don't wanna leave either of them out, Buck. I think we should take all three of them out."

Bucky widened his eyes. "Steve you know it doesn't work like that," He shook his head. "It's a girl for either of us."

"I know. It's just that..: I'll feel bad if I left one of them out. Let's just take all three of them."

Bucky thought about it, and nodded in understanding. He could see why it wouldn't be fair. "Yeah, you're right. Let's take the three of them." He looked back over at the girls, and could tell they were nearly done with their ice cream. "And let's go quick, or we'll be taking none at all!"

Steve shoved the last piece of hot dog in his mouth and swallowed it. He and Bucky threw away the wrappers and were able to rush over to the girls as soon as the blonde was starting to get up. The ginger girl to her right looked up at Steve and Bucky and gave them a small smile. The blonde turned around, saying, "Oh, hello."

Bucky's throat closed a little bit and he swallowed, smiling a bit. "How are you doing?" 

The girl raised an eyebrow, looking at the brunette girl to her left, who smirked a bit. Bucky's eye twitched. The blonde looked back at Bucky saying, "Good, how are you?"

Steve interjected almost before the girl had finished speaking, saying, "He wants to take you out on a date, miss." Bucky whipped his head around and glared at him, and Steve raised his eyebrows. He looked back toward the blonde, who was smiling lightly at him. 

"Oh?" She said.

"Well..." Bucky froze, looking at Steve then back at the blonde. "He would like to take your two friends out as well."

"Really?" The three girls started to giggle. The blonde said, "I'm Monica, and that's Dana and Schuyler." She gestured to the girls by her sides. "Tell you what, boys. Eight o'clock tonight at the Italian restaurant a few blocks away from here. You know the one I'm talking about?"

Bucky was in shock and awe. It seemed as though the girl had asked him out and not the other way around. He was definitely not expecting that. "Yeah, sure, sure." He said quickly. 

"And..." She pointed at the brunette. "Schuyler can't go out tonight because he parents don't let her out past seven o'clock. It's absurd. But your friend here can take Dana." Steve waved at the ginger. 

Bucky fiddled with his suspenders. "I'm James and that's Steve."

"Nice to meet you both. We both have to actually leave Coney Island now, for like, chores and stuff. It sucks that we still have to do them over the summer."

"Yeah..." Bucky let go of his suspenders. "I'll see you two tonight?" He grinned. 

Monica smiled, nodded. "Yeah. See you tonight." Monica, Dana and Schuyler walked away with their heads bent toward each other, laughing. 

Bucky turned back toward Steve, his eyes wide. "Did she... just ask me out?"

"I guess? Since I told her you wanted to ask her out maybe you did first. Maybe you both asked each other out... I dunno."

"Oh yeah, and about that. Why the hell did you do that??"

Steve smiled, patting Bucky once on the back. "You weren't gonna do it yourself. I saw you... you looked absolutely terrified."

"I guess I was, actually. Thanks."

"Yeah."

"And Steve? You can borrow one of my suits if you want... like, if you don't have a proper one... not to be rude..."

"I know what you mean, Buck. You're not being rude and I would be glad to borrow one of your suits. Just make sure neither of us wear white. That tomato sauce at the restaurant stains forever."

*******

"Hey, Steve? I was wondering." Bucky said, lying on his bed as Steve rummaged through Bucky's closet for a suit. Bucky already had a navy blazer with a red tie and pants that matched the blazer hung up on a hanger that was on his bed. 

"Wondering what, Buck?" Steve asked, his back to Bucky. 

"Like... what if we ended up kissing the girls tonight after our dates?" 

Steve paused, then said, "I'm guessing it'll be the first time for either of us."

"Yeah. I would really like to kiss Monica to be honest. What about your girl, Dana?" 

Steve shrugged. "I don't know, Buck. I did this for you, you know."

"I know you did, and I'll love you forever for it."

Steve turned around, with a pair of light blue trousers and a baby pink shirt with a light blue vest. He raised his eyebrows, as to say, 'Are these any good?'

Bucky snapped once in approval. "Those. Are perfect."

Steve sighed in relief. "Good. I'm glad." And he sat on the bed next to Bucky. "As for kissing, I don't think either of us should be worried about it. We're both fourteen, it's about time, right?" 

"Yeah."

"Oh, and I'll be right back. I have to put the flowers we bought them in a vase for now so they won't get all wilted before we give them to them." Steve got up and picked up the two bouquets of bright orange tulips on Bucky's desk and headed downstairs. Bucky's family had gone out to the market and weren't in the house. Bucky didn't expect to come back this early before... so that's why he and Steve were alone. 

Bucky sighed, sitting up. Seeing as he had never kissed before, he didn't know how he was going to learn. He didn't want the kiss with Monica to be sloppy or rookie, he wanted it to be perfect. But he didn't know how he was going to be a professional at something he hadn't done before in less than 4 hours. 

Steve came back in the room. 

"Hey, um, Steve, I know this is weird but I'm going to be honest with you here. Maybe we could practice kissing... each other so we know how to do it with the girls?" Bucky looked away. 

Steve sat down on the bed next to Bucky, smiling lively at him. "I think that would be a good idea. So we can learn how to do it and stuff."

Bucky smiled lively back. "Oh, yeah. Good idea." And he decided he'd be the first to lean in. He closed his eyes and puckered his lips a bit and soon enough, he was able to feel Steve's soft, warm lips on his. 

Bucky's lips softened to the touch and he sighed through his nose. If this is what kissing felt like, he really, really liked it. Soon enough he forgot he was kissing his best friend and moved his left hand up to Steve's cheek, resting it there. Bucky felt Steve move his right hand to Bucky's waist. Bucky moaned very quietly, moving his hand up to Steve's wispy blonde hair and running his fingers through it. He felt Steve move his left hand to the other side of Bucky's waist, and turn his head slightly. His right hand rested itself on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky could hear Steve's slight groaning. 

Both of them knew that neither of them wanted to let go. 

But both of them did, looking into each other's eyes as they did so. Bucky's hand was still in Steve's hair and his other was still on his cheek. Steve's hand was still on Bucky's waist and the other was on his shoulder. Maybe it was something about the moment, but until now Bucky had never noticed how clear blue Steve's eyes were. Steve's eyes were so much clearer and bluer than Bucky felt his greenish-blue eyes were. Steve's eyes were so clear that you could dive into them and swim in them like a clear swimming pool. So blue that they could rival the skies on a bright summer day. Bucky felt like the colour of Steve's eyes would be his favourite colour. 

Steve inhaled and exhaled once. He let go of Bucky, who did in return. Both boys lay down on Bucky's bed, side by side.

Bucky realised that he loved kissing. He wondered if it would be the same with the girls. Judging how much he and Steve seemed to enjoy it, Bucky though that he would be good at kissing Monica. But at the same time, a deep, deep part of him kind of didn't want to. He wanted to kiss Steve again. And Bucky was not ashamed of that part of him at all. 

After a couple of moments, Steve turned his body around to be on his side. He looked at Bucky, smiling. "You know, we're pretty good." He chirped. 

*******

"It's eight thirty. Where the hell could they be?" Bucky snapped. 

"Traffic? If their parents are even driving them here. Maybe they're driving. I dunno, Brooklyn is always busy." Steve replied calmly. 

They were at a table for four, with the other seated in front of them. They'd been there for forty-five minutes already (Bucky had insisted on going early) and it was a half hour past the time Monica had scheduled the date. Steve kept saying that maybe they were still getting ready and they were planning on being "fashionably late", but Bucky shook his head. He didn't really have a choice but to believe Steve if he really wanted to hit it off with Monica. 

By the time 8:50 flew around it was clear to both Bucky and Steve that neither Monica nor Dana were going to show. Steve opened his mouth to say something and Bucky raised his hand to cut him off. "Don't even say, 'I told you so,' Steve."

Steve bent his neck to take a sip from his glass of Coca Cola. Bucky sighed, burying his head in his arms. "I can't believe we were duped by those two. That's horrible."

"Yeah, me neither. Girls, right?" Steve tried to lighten the mood but Bucky just sighed and lifted his head, sipping from his ice water. 

Steve said, "But now that we're here, maybe we could just buy dinner? That way the whole thing isn't a waste." 

Bucky smiled at Steve, feeling a little better. "Yeah, Steve. Let's do that. I already know what I'm going to get."

An hour and a half later both boys had eaten their spaghetti and meatballs and chocolate zucutto cake. Bucky's eyes closed and he groaned from being so full. He opened one eye to look at Steve. 

Steve said, "I'm glad I ate that to be honest. I'm way to skinny and I need to gain like, 20 pounds."

"No, no you're fine, Steve. I on the other hand, cannot afford to gain a lot of weight. My mother wants me to do track."

"Ha. One of us needs to gain weight and the other is fine."

"You're fine, Steve, stop being so conscious about your body. It's fine, I promise." Bucky said. That seemed to shut Steve up. 

They paid the bill and went outside. It was dark, but a few stars were up in the sky and the streetlights were lit. Bucky's parents were allowing Steve to sleep over tonight, so they headed back toward Bucky's house.

As they walked down the road, Bucky kept his head down. Steve noticed and tapped on him, asking, "What's wrong?"

"Oh. Nothing, Steve." Bucky shook his head. 

"Come on." Steve stopped walking, and Bucky turned to face him. "I know you, Buck. I know that look. Something's up, what is it?"

"Nothing."

"Was it that Dana and Monica hoodwinked us? I hated that."

"No, no it's not that." Steve could tell that Bucky was serious about it not being that. 

"So what is it?" When Bucky didn't answer Steve's question, he was able to tell what it was. "Ohhhh."

Steve leaned in when Bucky least expected it and kissed him quickly on the lips, so nobody could see. It lasted for no more than three seconds. Bucky's expression changed from moody to shocked in less than a second, and he asked, "What was that for??" He looked around, hoping that no one had seen their shared moment. 

Steve smiled. "We both know it's what you wanted."

"Well, the reason I was sad was because I wanted a kiss tonight and I thought I'd never get it. I didn't expect for it to be from you, Steve."

"Well," Bucky watched as Steve turned back to the road. "I guess life just surprises you sometimes."

*******

Steve had never forgotten that day and he'd never forgotten the kisses he'd given and gotten from Bucky. 

Even at young the two boys knew that a boy couldn't kiss another boy and a girl couldn't kiss another girl. Back then when they were young, it was wrong. They didn't know why, they just knew that that was the way things were. 

Steve had forgotten about that day for a little while until it suddenly hit him. He just started to remember and he didn't know how he could've forgotten that one day. 

But Steve hadn't gone out to look for Bucky for romance, he just wanted his best friend back. So when he decided he'd follow Bucky, he had pushed the memory out. 

But now that he had him back, he just had remembered it again. He knew he'd never tell anyone that. He knew that he was the only person in all of time and space who knew what happened that day on Bucky's bed and on the road of that little Italian restaurant. Steve knew that Bucky probably won't end up remembering that night, and it broke his heart a bit. 

But to Steve, it didn't matter that he wouldn't remember. It just mattered to him that he had Bucky back. 

"Steve?" Steve heard Bucky's voice, which snapped him out of his thoughts. 

"Oh. Yeah? Sorry." Steve said, shaking his head. 

"I said I wanted to make things like they used to be and then I asked if you'd planned anywhere for us to go today."

"Oh yeah, right." Steve smiled brightly at Bucky, who did in return. In his smile, Steve felt like he could almost just close his eyes and be a 14 year old back in Brooklyn, just smiling and being with his best friend. "Anywhere you want, Buck."


End file.
